Brutal Aspects, Badass You

The Astrology Aspects That Hurt the Most (And How to Survive Them)

If you’ve got the following aspects in your chart, chances are life has already dragged you by the hair a few times. I’m not holding back on this one. Quick housekeeping first, because we don’t gatekeep here.

If you’re brand new to astrology and don’t know how to pull up your aspects, go to astro-seek.com. On the homepage, click birth chart. Enter your birth date, time (or select unknown if you don’t know), and city. Then hit calculate. On the right side, click more details, scroll down, and you’ll see your main aspects. That’s what we’re looking at today.

Important note: I’m talking aspects only, not houses or signs. Those matter, but if I added them in, this post would be 85 hours long. Think critically, apply nuance, and don’t come crying in the comments because astrology isn’t one size fits all. Ready? Let’s go.

Moon Square Saturn (or Opposite/Conjunct)

This one is brutal. Emotional abandonment dressed up as stoicism. If you’ve got this aspect, you probably learned early on that your feelings were inconvenient. Vulnerability meant weakness. So now you carry chronic guilt and shame, wandering through a cold void you call your emotional landscape.

Finance bros seem to have this one a lot. They cry once every fiscal quarter. Sad but true.

How to survive it: Reparent your inner child. Treat that part of you like a feral cat. Patience, safety, no sudden movements. Schedule softness into your life, literally put “feel things” on your calendar. Learn how to ask for help before you collapse. And for the love of your own sanity, stop surrounding yourself with people who tell you to tough it out. You’ve been toughing it out your whole life. You’re allowed to cry. You’re allowed to feel.

This often stems from childhood, usually from the mother, though the father can be just as guilty. Either way, the lesson is the same: it’s time to thaw the ice and let yourself be human.

Sun Opposite Pluto (or Square/Conjunct)

Welcome to identity warfare. With this aspect, you’re either being overpowered or doing the overpowering. Authority issues, daddy issues, god issues, and yes, spirituality struggles too. Especially if this hits the ninth or third house axis, or the eighth and second.

You walk into rooms with your metaphorical finger on the trigger. Always ready to fight. Always ready to dominate.

How to survive it: Shadow work. Dig through your demons, name them, and stop trying to control every damn narrative. People aren’t chess pieces, and domination isn’t the only form of power. Self mastery is real power.

Forgive your past. You’ve done shitty things. So has everyone else. That was part of your karma contract, and the people you hurt had their own lessons to learn. Let go of control and learn. And please, stop dating fixer uppers. You’re not Home Depot.

Venus Square Neptune (or Opposite/Conjunct)

This one hurts the heart. If you’ve got it, you’ve likely danced with limerence, the obsessive crush on someone who isn’t actually available or maybe doesn’t even know you exist. It’s obsession, projection, and heartbreak on repeat.

You fall in love with illusions. You love the idea of love more than the actual person. Romantic delusion is your kink, disappointment your addiction. And of course, it stems from childhood.

How to survive it: Get real about what people are actually offering you. Not their potential. Not your fantasy of who they could be. Actions matter more than daydreams. Set standards. Don’t make excuses for people. Ground yourself daily in self worth with mirror work or mantras. And if you can’t tell a red flag from a rave outfit, maybe take a romance detox.

Mars Opposite Uranus (or Square/Conjunct)

Explosive. Impulsive. Angry. People with this aspect make decisions mid panic and pray it works out. They are walking adrenaline spikes. In my opinion, this is the most aggressive aspect in astrology. Mars Pluto is rough too, but Mars Uranus opposition? Pure chaos.

How to survive it: Move your body. Channel the rage before it destroys something. Fight sports, drumming, welding, anything dangerous but controlled. If you can’t move physically, find another way to release energy.

And have a “fuck it” fund. Because with this aspect, you will blow up a job or relationship eventually. That’s not necessarily bad, it’s who you are. Just give yourself a safety net. And remember, not every disruption is a revolution. Sometimes you just need to breathe.

Mercury Square Pluto (or Opposite/Conjunct)

This one makes your words weapons. You overshare or interrogate, no middle ground. It can manifest as paranoia disguised as “being observant.”

How to survive it: Shut your mouth before your brain snipes someone. Use your detective skills for healing instead of hexing. Journal instead of testing people. Learn that trust is a two way street. And stop running experiments to prove everyone will fail.

Remember…

If you’ve got one or more of these aspects, you’ve been handed some of astrology’s hardest lessons. They don’t define you, but they will demand your growth. Healing them isn’t about perfection. It’s about learning to work with the energy instead of being consumed by it.

I’m not going to sugarcoat the pain, but I will hand you the map out. And if nothing else, now you know you’re not alone in the struggle.